We live in a society that constantly tells us that we need to be beautiful to be successful and loved. We are bombarded with pictures of skinny models and celebrities living the high life, dressed in expensive designer clothes, earning millions, and just generally having a good time. The fact that a lot of these celebs have drinking and drugs problems, are often in and out of rehab and can’t hold onto a man for more than 5 minutes doesn’t seem to matter. What matters is that they’re popular and to be like that, you have to be beautiful. And in our society, being beautiful means being skinny.
But does being beautiful really mean being skinny? According to the media, yes. More and more books and articles on weight loss and dieting appear in book stores and magazines, most of the celebs, actresses and supermodels are tall and sticky thin (or made to appear so with Photoshop) and even when we go shopping, most of the clothes seem to be designed for 13 year old girls instead than grown up women.
It’s no wonder most women aren’t comfortable with the way the look and even hate themselves. We are all supposed to be the same size and conform to an ideal of beauty that just isn’t attainable. Not even supermodels and celebs look as good in real life as they do in pictures and their photos are always airbrushed to remove cellulite, stretch marks and other imperfections they may have and to make them look even thinner. But why?
Who has decided that being sticky thin is beautiful? Is there a reason that explains why skinny should equal beautiful? We are told that we need to be skinny to find love but every time they interview men, they say they prefer women with curves. We are told that clothes look better on size 0 women but I beg to differ. Strapless tops look bad on flat-chested women just like maxi dresses don’t suit short gals. Different styles of clothes suit different body shapes and types and does anything look good on women who are so thin their bones are sticking out anyway?
We are told that we need to be skinny to get a job, and while it is true that a nice physical appearance can be an advantage sometimes, if you can’t do your job well and properly you’re gonna get fired or just not advance in your career. We tend to associate skinny with youth but losing too much weigh can actually have an aging effect and make you look older and gaunt.
But most importantly, being thin doesn’t mean being healthy. We’re always reminded of the dangers of being too fat but being too skinny is equally dangerous. The only way women can achieve a size 0 is by starving themselves or exercising all the time or both. That’s just gonna make you ill. You are depriving your body of carbs, minerals and nutrients it needs to function properly. Being too thin can also lead to osteoporosis, heart illnesses and to eating disorders like bulimia and anorexia. Is being thin really worth dying for? No, it ain’t.
So, next time someone tries to tell you that skinny is beautiful and you’re worthless if you don’t conform, don’t buy it. Stop feeling bad because you can’t achieve an unattainable standard of beauty and start questioning this dangerous message. People come in all shapes and sizes and they are all beautiful. Tall, short, thin, overweight, it is you. Embrace the way you look and stop trying to become someone you can never be. Stop worrying about your weight and focus on being healthy. Being confident and feeling good about yourself, smiling and treating people with respect, being proud of who you are and of what you have achieved and can achieve, that’s beautiful.
Do you feel the pressure to be thin too? Do you think that being thin means being beautiful?
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
The woman in the second picture looks beautiful on the right, why did they photoshop her on the left? It’s a shame, look at her scary fake thin arm
Marloes, I agree. She’s a beautiful woman and there was no need to photoshop her. They made her look so skinny, it’s scary!
I sometimes worry about how my weight loss posts will be received. Do people think I’m trying to say only being skinny is beautiful? I hope not. Because I certainly don’t believe that. I was beautiful when I was 80+ pounds heavier. I just wasn’t healthy. Know what I mean?
Trisha´s last [type] ..Neutral Luster With the PixiGlow Catching Shadows Crayon
Trisha, I do and I think you are an inspiration. You’re losing weight because you want to be healthy and reach your normal BMI and you’re doing it the right way, by eating healthily and exercising. You’re not starving yourself to become sticky thin because you think you aren’t good enough if you don’t. That’s what I have a problem with. We all come in different shapes and sizes and they’re all beautiful. We should focus on being healthy, not skinny.
Agreed. I think I read somewhere that the ideal “model” body accounts for only about 2% of the world. I am naturally thin, but not because I’m unhealthy, so I try to respect people of all shapes & sizes as we all have different sizes that our bodies are naturally healthiest at.
Something interesting though — there is actually a disorder that makes you unable to gain weight. I read about a woman who has almost 0% body fat and she has to eat a small meal every 15 minutes to stay healthy. Anyone looking at her would assume she has an eating disorder.. Though I think eating disorders are much more common than that disease.
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Eight, I agree with you that we all have different sizes that our bodies are naturally healthiest at and not everyone is healthy when skinny. They’re not synonyms.
That’s exactly why it makes me mad when people make comments about other people’s weight. There are disorders that make you unable to gain weight, just like there are diseases that make you gain weight and if you have them, losing it is gonna be extremely difficult. We should just stop passing judgements when we don’t know all the facts and just respect people of all shapes and sizes.
Wonderfully said, Giorgia! Being gaunt does age one’s appearance and beautiful women come in every form. Poor people, men and women, who conform to this absurd idea. I really like the Beautiful Women poster (also in your “Learn to Love Your Body” post which I liked it then too). ;D
I will honestly say I used to think thin was pretty, but being thin didn’t make one pretty (so face, personality factored in too). I also thought many other women of all shapes could look beautiful but I wasn’t disgusted by thin, if that makes sense. Now, I feel that everyone is pretty in their own special way (I wish more people could realize this!) and I feel a bit sorry for those who hurt themselves to look so fragile.
:]
Janessa´s last [type] ..Perfect Nude Liner for ALL Skin Colors
Janessa, I feel really sorry for them too. They are really hurting themselves to conform to an absurd idea indeed. I just hope they will realize that before it is too late.
I think we all go through a phase when we thin that thin is pretty. After all, we’re constantly bombarded by this message that it’s hard not to feel a victim of it, even if only for a little while. I’m glad you realized that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and I hope that everyone who believes in this silly idea will soon too.
I really think you’re amazing, for replying so thoroughly and taking so much time to write your blog. Your efforts do show through! I know I’ve said all that before but I don’t think it’ll hurt to say it again… and again ;] every now and then.
Hehe <3 I look up to you!
Janessa, aww thank you! Your words mean a lot to me and encourage to work even harder.
:] Yay! I’m really glad.
Janessa´s last [type] ..Perfect Nude Liner for ALL Skin Colors
Oh my God! I am going NOW for another slice of chocolate-covered tsoureki (traditional sweet for Easter) and I will not feel guilty at all! I guess I should send some to these poor girls… They remind me of the fund-raising campaigns by Unicef.
Health issues aside, do they see themselves as beautiful? Do the people they work for (beauty industry) think anyone of us normal people will be attracted?
I believe the beauty industry will have more chances of selling normal-sized clothes to normal-sized people than smurf-sized clothes to normal-sized people.
Marianthi, good for you, that sounds so yummy! And they remind me of the same thing as well. And to think that these women can actually afford food yet choose to starve themselves…
And I completely agree with you. I always hear designers say that clothes look good on women who are a size 0, but I disagree. Clothes look on women who are naturally thin, but when you starve yourself to be so thin that your bones are actually sticking out.. well, that’s not really attractive and clothes just look shapeless on them. I do too think that they’d sell more if they used normal-sized models. That way women would get to see our clothes would actually look on them.
a lovely post I must say
i have been struggling with weight issues since I was a child, most of the time, I am always too fat, even if I was already at my skinniest moment, and that my mom (of all people) said I look haggard n tired. But when I put back a bit weight, she’d call me plump n fat and etc.
it still bothers me to this day about my weight (definitely fat! lol) and my excess flabs, but then most of the time I’d just ignore it and just eat what I want (I do watch what I am eating though) and follow up with a tiny bit of exercise. As long as I am healthy, I get to buy clothes and still be able to look dressy/ nice, I really can’t be bothered. Life’s too short to be battling weight issue all the time, and I can’t be dressing up everyday, I’m no model/ celeb LOL. Being thin is not equivalent to being beautiful, but having the right curves and attitude defines what’s beautiful. What’s a woman if all they have is bones?
Fashion industry is really harsh I feel, and society has long followed the trend for too long. It’s hard to change ppl’s mindset even if they know photos are being photoshopped to look skinnier or better, or those people go under the knife just to look better. It’s easier to conform to normal society standard than trying to be different from the others
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Plue, I’m sorry to hear you have been struggling with weight issues. I’ve been there too so I know how it feels. I agree with you that life is too short to think about our weight all the time. As long as we eat a healthy diet (and that means mostly vegs and fruits, but also meat, sweets, carbs etc in moderation) and exercise a bit, it’s ok. We should aim at being healthy, not sticky thin.
The media and fashion industry are hugely responsible for spreading and glamourizing this distorted ideal of beauty. Being aware of how they work and the tricks they use is the first step to change our mindset, but it’s not as easy as that, I agree. We are under so much pressure to conform, that we have to be really strong not to.
Thanks for this article! What I especially like about it is that you touch on the emotional effects that dieting can have on you.
About 6 years ago I dieted away about 10kg and ended up being rather on the skinny side. I didn’t think I looked overly skinny then but a lot of people were telling me I’d look better with a bit more weight on. The thing about that time was that I was miserable. I had mood swings all the time, I got upset easily and couldn’t take any pressure it seemed and I couldn’t focus. Now there were circumstances that certainly added to that but in hindsight it does seem to me like I was coping unusually badly with those circumstances and I do feel like the weight loss had something to do with that.
All I can say for certain is that my skinniest time ever (I’ve gained some weight since) coincided with my most miserable time ever. Funny because we always seem to think that once we’re our dream size, life is gonna be a blast. But I think we need to be aware that we may be endangering our emotional balance if we’re being too cruel with our bodies.
Steffi, thanks for your comments and I’m sad to hear you had to go through that. Lots of people told me the same thing, how losing a lot of weight and being thin made them miserable. I too think the two things are related. I’m not sure how exactly but I guess a healthy diet not only prevents illnesses but give us the energy we need and just makes us feel good in general. Depriving our bodies of some of the nutrients it needs can be very dangerous indeed. And as much as we like to think that our lives will be better if we’re thinner, prettier or whatever, that’s not really true, but such thinking can cause a lot of serious problems. The only way we can truly be happy is to accept ourselves just the way we are.