Self-esteem is a sense of confidence and satisfaction in yourself, of your personal worth. It makes you believe in yourself and in your abilities and gives you confidence to try new things and accomplish whatever you set you mind to. But self-esteem is not something that just happens or that you are born with. You have to build it for yourself, which takes years and years, and there’s no quick and easy way to do it.
So, how do you achieve self-esteem? Makeup can help give it a little boost, but it is only a temporary fix and once you take it off, you’ll just go back to being yourself. And if you don’t like that person, you’ll never be happy. And it doesn’t have to be that way. You are a special and unique person worthy of love. You just haven’t realized it yet. Hopefully, these tips will help you:
1. Focus on your positive qualities
No one is perfect so instead than concentrating on your negative qualities (most of which are only in your head anyway), focus on your positive ones. Take pen and paper and write down all your positive qualities and what you are good at. Are you clever, loyal, trustworthy, funny? Do you have a beautiful voice or are good at any sports, or taking photos? Write them all down. Next show the list to people you love and trust like your parents, your best friend, even a teacher and ask them what they think your strengths are. They may point out good qualities or abilities you have but didn’t realise because your inner critic was too harsh on you (see point two on how to fix that) and add them to the list. Recognizing your good qualities and abilities will help you build self-esteem. You’ll appreciate yourself more and realise that you have the tools to accomplish what you want.
2. Tame your inner critic
There are times when your inner critic can be very helpful. It can prevent you from making mistakes or point out ways you could improve. But if not kept in check, your inner critic can become your worst enemy and make you feel awful about yourself. It’ll tell you that you are a loser and will never succeed at anything because you’re ugly, fat, ineffective, lazy, dumb, stupid etc. Although our inner critic is usually just trying to protect us from humiliation and failure, all this negative thinking doesn’t help anyone and will just prevent you from trying to do anything you wanna do which just isn’t good. Instead, you just need to realise that no one is perfect. If you fail at any task, don’t put yourself down. It doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough, only that you weren’t very prepared. Think positive and keep practice and you’ll soon accomplish every task you thought was insurmountable.
3. Do something you are good at
Find something you are passionate about and are good at and do it. It could be anything: writing, cooking, applying makeup, socializing, taking photos, whatever you enjoy. Doing things you enjoy and are good at regularly will make you believe in yourself, in your strengths and in your abilities. And when you believe in yourself, you’ll be able to accomplish everything you set your mind to.
4. Start small
If you’re passionate about something but don’t have the guts to do it, set yourself some small tasks that are easily achievable. For example, if you like cooking but are afraid you won’t be any good at it, start by making some simple recipes. Once you’ve mastered that, you’ll realise that you are good at it and it will give you the boost you need to try something a little bit more complicated next time. And if you don’t succeed on your first try, just keep practicing. Even the greatest chefs started out just as inexperienced as you.
5. Help others
Helping other people will give a sense of purpose and meaning to your life and thus, make you feel good about yourself. It also helps put things in perspective and realise that sometimes our problems aren’t that serious and that, if you stop criticising yourself, you can make a positive contribution to the world. There are several ways to do this. You can do some volunteer work or if you’re too busy you can make a small monetary donation to some important causes close to your heart. Or you can donate the clothes, makeup and books you don’t wear and read anymore to charity institutions or libraries. In addition, you can just help a friend or an acquaintance with their problems and just be nice to everyone you meet. There is never any reason to be rude and sometimes just a smile, a kind word or a compliment will make others feel good about themselves and, as a result, you’ll feel good about yourself too.
6. Take care of yourself
Smoking, eating junk food, drinking are all bad habits that cause harm to your body and thus, make you feel unattractive and insecure about yourself. The same happens if you never exercise. Start introducing healthy foods to your diet, a little at a time, and go for a walk every day. You’ll feel more energetic and you’ll improve both your physical appearance and your mood. Gaining control of your body, instead than letting your body control you, will boost your self-esteem. You’ll realise that you are in control of your own life and, with determination and hard work, can achieve whatever you want.
I hope you find this post helpful. I would love to hear your opinion, thoughts or any other tips you have about how to build self-esteem. Share them in the comments!