6 Tips On How To Build Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is a sense of confidence and satisfaction in yourself, of your personal worth. It makes you believe in yourself and in your abilities and gives you confidence to try new things and accomplish whatever you set you mind to. But self-esteem is not something that just happens or that you are born with. You have to build it for yourself, which takes years and years, and there’s no quick and easy way to do it.

So, how do you achieve self-esteem? Makeup can help give it a little boost, but it is only a temporary fix and once you take it off, you’ll just go back to being yourself. And if you don’t like that person, you’ll never be happy. And it doesn’t have to be that way. You are a special and unique person worthy of love. You just haven’t realized it yet. Hopefully, these tips will help you:

1. Focus on your positive qualities

No one is perfect so instead than concentrating on your negative qualities (most of which are only in your head anyway), focus on your positive ones. Take pen and paper and write down all your positive qualities and what you are good at. Are you clever, loyal, trustworthy, funny? Do you have a beautiful voice or are good at any sports, or taking photos? Write them all down. Next show the list to people you love and trust like your parents, your best friend, even a teacher and ask them what they think your strengths are. They may point out good qualities or abilities you have but didn’t realise because your inner critic was too harsh on you (see point two on how to fix that) and add them to the list. Recognizing your good qualities and abilities will help you build self-esteem. You’ll appreciate yourself more and realise that you have the tools to accomplish what you want.

2. Tame your inner critic

There are times when your inner critic can be very helpful. It can prevent you from making mistakes or point out ways you could improve. But if not kept in check, your inner critic can become your worst enemy and make you feel awful about yourself. It’ll tell you that you are a loser and will never succeed at anything because you’re ugly, fat, ineffective, lazy, dumb, stupid etc. Although our inner critic is usually just trying to protect us from humiliation and failure, all this negative thinking doesn’t help anyone and will just prevent you from trying to do anything you wanna do which just isn’t good. Instead, you just need to realise that no one is perfect. If you fail at any task, don’t put yourself down. It doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough, only that you weren’t very prepared. Think positive and keep practice and you’ll soon accomplish every task you thought was insurmountable.

3. Do something you are good at

Find something you are passionate about and are good at and do it. It could be anything: writing, cooking, applying makeup, socializing, taking photos, whatever you enjoy. Doing things you enjoy and are good at regularly will make you believe in yourself, in your strengths and in your abilities. And when you believe in yourself, you’ll be able to accomplish everything you set your mind to.

4. Start small

If you’re passionate about something but don’t have the guts to do it, set yourself some small tasks that are easily achievable. For example, if you like cooking but are afraid you won’t be any good at it, start by making some simple recipes. Once you’ve mastered that, you’ll realise that you are good at it and it will give you the boost you need to try something a little bit more complicated next time. And if you don’t succeed on your first try, just keep practicing. Even the greatest chefs started out just as inexperienced as you.

5. Help others

Helping other people will give a sense of purpose and meaning to your life and thus, make you feel good about yourself. It also helps put things in perspective and realise that sometimes our problems aren’t that serious and that, if you stop criticising yourself, you can make a positive contribution to the world. There are several ways to do this. You can do some volunteer work or if you’re too busy you can make a small monetary donation to some important causes close to your heart. Or you can donate the clothes, makeup and books you don’t wear and read anymore to charity institutions or libraries. In addition, you can just help a friend or an acquaintance with their problems and just be nice to everyone you meet. There is never any reason to be rude and sometimes just a smile, a kind word or a compliment will make others feel good about themselves and, as a result, you’ll feel good about yourself too.

6. Take care of yourself

Smoking, eating junk food, drinking are all bad habits that cause harm to your body and thus, make you feel unattractive and insecure about yourself. The same happens if you never exercise. Start introducing healthy foods to your diet, a little at a time, and go for a walk every day. You’ll feel more energetic and you’ll improve both your physical appearance and your mood. Gaining control of your body, instead than letting your body control you, will boost your self-esteem. You’ll realise that you are in control of your own life and, with determination and hard work, can achieve whatever you want.

I hope you find this post helpful. I would love to hear your opinion, thoughts or any other tips you have about how to build self-esteem. Share them in the comments!

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    • beautifulwithbrains says

      LaDamaBianca, grazie. E sono completamente d’accordo con te. Bisogna amare se stessi prima di tutto. Solo poi potremo stare veramente bene con gli altri.

    • beautifulwithbrains says

      Muslimah Beauty, I completely agree with you. Wearing makeup can boost our confidence, but at the end of the day we wash it off and we’re back to being us. If we don’t love that person, you’re never gonna be happy and no amount of makeup can change that.

    • beautifulwithbrains says

      Annabella, I wish you all the best with your business. And I agree. It’s our accomplishments that make us feel good about ourselves and help us build self esteem.

  1. Viv says

    All great advice, and yes, it comes with age. One of the interesting things about watching children grow is watching their self esteem develop – and one hurts for them so much when they take knocks!

    • beautifulwithbrains says

      Viv, I really agree. It comes with time and you make so many mistakes and take lots of knocks along the way. You just wanna help children, but you also have to let them handle things by themselves or they’ll never learn and achieve self-esteem. It’s hard but worthwhile in the end.

  2. says

    Facebook has been acting dumb lately. Even though I’m logged in, I can’t like your page without logging in again and after I refresh the page, I don’t even know if my ‘like’ was counted! >:[
    I’ve been doing #’s 3,5,6 for about 3 years now! I’ve always had bad self-esteem. I can recall times from my pre-K and kindergarten years where I’ve felt bad for who I was. About four years ago, I had one of the greatest teachers ever and she taught me to be aware of others’ feelings and even a small good deed can change someone’s day. So I’ve always been helping out whenever I can since.
    Three years ago, I’ve started to do what I was good at and as for eating healthy, I don’t necessarily do that even now, but I don’t drink soda and I don’t eat a lot of junk food. However, I do think I eat a lot of sweets like cookies, ice cream, madeleine’s, brownies, sweetbreads, some chocolate.
    I have a ‘bad’ idea I live by (sort of), actually two or more ideas, that I switch back and forth on. So here it goes: 1) What if today’s my last? 2) Am I going to look back a few years from now and say I was just doing homework? 3) Thirty years later and you’ve never [example] froze a cookie before?
    Hahaha. It isn’t exactly a good belief but I do follow it.
    Whoopee! Another day with beautifulwithbrains! You’ve sure got that name correct. 😀
    Janessa´s last blog post ..Perfect Nude Liner for ALL Skin ColorsMy Profile

    • beautifulwithbrains says

      Janessa, I’m sorry facebook has been giving you problems. I really can’t stand facebook and use it as little as possible, it never seems to work! So frustrating.

      I’ve had bad-self esteem for decades and still have issues today too so I can sympathize with you. I’m glad that you met such a wonderful teacher that made you look at things differently. It is so true that even a small thing can change someone’s life and do a lot of good, both to the giver and the receiver.

      Eating healthily is something I’ve always struggled with too. I love chocolates, biscuits, sweets too and it’s so hard to give them up. But I’m getting better with age and trying to change my diet slowly by gradually decreasing the amount of sweets I eat and increasing that of vegs and fruits. It is actually working very well. I think if you do it gradually, it becomes a lot easier and before you know it, you won’t be so tempted or even feel the need to reach for the chocolate so often. However, I do eat a bit of chocolate every day. If the quantity is small, it won’t harm you and let’s face it, it does make you feel better :)

      I don’t really think that you’re philosophy is that bad. If you live life to the full, you won’t have many regrets and wonder what if. Just as long as you don’t use it as an excuse to eat too much chocolate lol. 😉

      And aww thank you! 😳

    • Gio says

      Poonpo, glad you enjoyed the post. And that is a very dangerous habit. We should learn to focus more on ourselves rather than on others and how they look or what they do. Easier said that done I know.

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