Accepting ourselves and the way we look is one of the most difficult things to do, especially in our society. We are so obsessed with beauty and perfection and we constantly have it shoved down our throats that if we don’t achieve the unattainable standards imposed on us today then we’re worthless and we’ll never be happy. And we believe it. We just start hating our bodies and ourselves and this can be really dangerous. It’s high time to stop it.
Real beauty comes from within and having a pretty face may help in life, but if that’s all you got, you’ll never go far. Each and everyone of us is special and unique the way he/she is and we should celebrate that. I know it’s not easy and the road ahead is full of obstacles, tears and pain but learning to love our body is the best thing we can do for ourselves. It’ll give us confidence, improve our self-esteem and truly make us happy. I really hope these tips will help you as much as they’ve helped me.
1. Stop criticizing yourself
Stop seeing your body as an enemy. It isn’t. Our body is a friend and you would never diss a friend, would you? So, why would you diss yourself? Don’t! So what if you have cellulite or your nose is slightly bigger than you’d like it to be? No one’s perfect and never will be so stop criticizing yourself for flaws that are mostly only in your own head and focus on your strong points and qualities instead. And don’t criticize other people either. That’s just as bad and rude. If you hear someone that says anything negative about somebody else’s body, then confront them and tell them to stop it. No one has the right to make others feel bad and unworthy for the way they look. And if anyone tries, speak up! And don’t be afraid to come across as rude, they are the rude ones for making fun of others for their appearance and someone needs to let them know that! We need to support one other, not bring one another down!
2. Focus on your best features
We all have some features we don’t like but focusing on them will just make us feel sad, depressed and miserable. And there’s really no good reason for that because it’s those “flaws” that makes us special and unique. But if you really don’t like something about your body, learn to play it down and emphasize your favourite features instead. Don’t like your lips? Wear nude lipsticks and wear more dramatic and bolder looks on your eyes to attract attention to that area. But most importantly, focus on your inner qualities. If you’re feeling down because of the way you look, take paper and pen and start writing down all your positive qualities. Are you intelligent, funny and generous? Loyal and creative? Write them all down and look at them! Those are the things that make you really and truly beautiful, the reasons why you deserved to be loved and why people around you love you for.
3. People come in all shapes and sizes (and they are all beautiful so throw away that scale)
Who says that we should all be sticky thin to be beautiful? That’s nonsense. Look around you. Just as people have different eye and hair colors, they also have different heights, body types, shapes and sizes and they are all gorgeous! And thank goodness we don’t all look the same. Can you imagine how boring the world would be otherwise? Models and celebs all look the same these days and why would you wanna look just like everyone else when you can be your unique and beautiful you? Your weight doesn’t define who you are, its your inner self that does. So throw away that scale and never let your weight affect your sense esteem. Because it doesn’t matter how you look, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and never let anyone make you think otherwise!
4. Stop reading women magazines
When I was younger I would devour every magazine I could get my hands on and always felt depressed because everyone looked so slim and pretty and toned and I felt so insignificant in comparison. Stop reading them was one of the best things I ever did and not being exposed to so many fake images so often (of course it is impossible to avoid them completely) helped my self-esteem a lot. Remember that those photos you see in magazines just portray an image of beauty that NO ONE can attain in real life. Not even the most beautiful celebs and models look like that in real life. In fact, whenever they shoot photos for a magazine, there is always a team of stylists, hair stylists, makeup artists etc that helps them look their best, they are told which way to pose so that the lights on stage can help disguise certain flaws and even then, all images are airbrushed and digitally enhanced anyway. These images may be a beautiful fantasy, an illusion but they are not real and there is no way that anyone can achieve such unattainable standards of beauty so just stay away from them!
5. Don’t compare yourself to others
We are all guilty of this. If we see someone thin, we wish we were thinner, if we see someone with blonde hair we wish we were blondes, if we see someone tall, we wish we were taller.. Well, you get the drift. And it’s time to stop it. We’re aways gonna find someone that’s taller than us, thinner than us, has bigger lips than us and comparing ourselves to them is just useless and nothing good comes out of it. There is nothing wrong in the way you look, so stop wishing you’d look different and appreciate your own unique features. Actually, I’m sure there are lots of people out there that would love to have your nose, your eyes, your body shape and all the things you despise about yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others and realize how beautiful you are.
{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you for this article. I truly believe that the whole women’s movement forgot to address this issue and that it is what holds us back more than anything. Look at Oprah. She is one of the most successful women in the universe, yet she continues to focus on her weight. This concept of body image hatred continues to hold us hostage. My work with eating disordered patients constantly reminds me on how far we have not come as women. What good is it if we can bring home equal pay, demonstrate our full capabilities in all career venues or have equal oppportunities, if we look in the mirror and don’t register these successes because we have a tummy or thick thighs?
Suzq, you are welcome and I agree with you on everything. It’s so sad to see that despite everything we have achieved, women are still focusing so much on their weight. And there are also countries where women are still discrimated at work or in other aspects despite the law giving us equal rights (Italy, where I live, is just like that) or have no rights at all and I can’t help but think that we could change that if we all stuck together and work to the best of our capabilities. Instead, we’re constantly fighting against each other and wasting our energy hating ourselves for the way we look. I agree with you that this mindset is holding us back and damaging all women. Our weight doesn’t define who we are and if this post can help at least one person see that, then I’ll be happy.
All very good advice Gio! Importantly we are healthy and happy
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Paris, thanks and I agree. Health and happiness are the most important things.
An excellent point. I love the photo on the left. It really shows how beautiful the body can be even if it isn’t perfect. It would be really great if people would focus more on being healthy, not Twiggy. Occasionally, on some TV shows, the either show or discuss how the altar the images of the actual models, so that they fit their steriotyped idea of what is beautiful. It is shocking how they can make parts larger or smaller, a different color, etc. It would do us all a great deal of good if these sorts of things were shown more often.
Eleanor, I agree with everything you said. I think the girl in the picture on the left looks beautiful even though she doesn’t fit the standards of beauty imposed upon us today. The body is beautiful whatever its shape and size imo.
It’s shocking indeed to see how much altered an image can be. The person in the photograph always ends up looking so different from what they really look in real life and that’s somewhat disturbing. There should really be more awereness about this.
This is awesome, Gio! I totally love where you’re going with this. We need to love ourselves just the way we are!
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Trisha, thanks. And I couldn’t agree with you more!
Great post!
Sole, thank you!
Hi, I’m Matilde, from Argentina. I wrote something on my blog that goes very well with your post. I invite you to visit me http://tendenciera.blogspot.com/2011/01/relax-chicas.html
greetins…
Matichica, hi and thank you for your comment and for the link. My Spanish isn’t that fluent but I could understand the gist of it and I agree with you. No one is perfect and we should just accept ourselves the way we are and be happy in our own skin. It’s good to see more blogs talking about this, it’s so important to get this message across.
This post is the truth! Thanks for this.
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Tammy, you’e welcome.
Aaw thanks for this lovely post! I agree with what’s written I used to be chubby and on the heavy side and I know how it feels to be down ! We should really start loving ourselves no matter what, all our body parts are functioning well
GOod day!
Nikki, you’re welcome and I agree with you. It really is horrible to hate yourself for the way you look and some people can be so mean to you just because you’re not a size 0 (sadly I know that from experience too) and that’s so wrong. We should love ourselves for the way we are and as long as we’re healthy it shouldn’t matter what size we are or how much we weight.
Totally agreed. Everyone in this universe is born unique and has unique features.
We all have our own different identity which makes us different from others.
Great post. Thanks.
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LatestGirls, you’re welcome and thank you. And I agree with you. We are all different and unique and we should celebrate that.
Wow, wonderful artcile. You should have been a psychologist, as the way you explain things is just like my university professors.
Truly amazing content and very relevant in today’s scenario.
P.S. Lately I was getting crazy with the idea of exercise and dieting etc. as in past few months I have put on some weight. But, I guess I can stop worrying about that now.
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Shruti, thank you. You know, I did take some pscychologist classes in high school. It’s there that I first learned how fake images and adverts can be and how the media work. We didn’t study the subject in depth back then but it was still a big eye opener.
And yes, don’t worry about that. As long as you’re healthy and happy, the rest doesn’t matter.
In addition to how much I enjoy your blog, I really love that you did this post. Recently I’ve started to really scrutinize my body image and I think it needs a good check as it is starting to get unrealistically negative from time to time. Thank you for sharing!!
Jessica, you’re welcome and I’m really glad that you enjoy my blog and this post in particular! I think we are all guilty from time to time to overscrutinize the way we look, but at the same time, that’s not healthy. That’s nothing wrong in the way you look, you are beautiful hun! It’s the beauty standards the media want us to aspire to that are unattainable and we shouldn’t let those bring us down.
Oh Ikr The media is like:
Oh miley cyrus has these curves and Jeniffer Lopez has this and you should do this to look like her and Seriously?!!? Lol. Wow.
Prettykitty, it’s insane, isn’t it? Everybody has a different body type and we can’t all just look the same. As long as you’re healthy, that’s all that matters.
I think you should eat right and exercise, not just in agym if you want to exercise in a gym thats fine but there are plenty of other ways too. Anywho, Yes i agree dont just focus on your bad features and take care of yourself. Peace
Prettykitty, I agree about eating healthy and exercise. We should take care of ourselves and focus on being healthy, which doesn’t mean being thin (unless that’s your natural body shape of course).